Under the Stars
by YanksLuver
Summary: On Vaughn and Lauren's first anniversary, Sydney calls Vaughn upset and he rushes to be by her side.


Title: Under the Stars  
  
Author: Steph (ILUVNYYANK@aol.com)  
  
Category: Drama/Romance  
  
Spoilers: "Truth Be Told", "A Broken Heart"(Season 1), "The Telling" (Season 2) and general season three stuff.  
  
Rating: PG  
  
Archive: Sure, just let me know where.  
  
Disclaimer: Alias and its characters do not belong to me. I do this out of a love for the show and no infringement is intended.  
  
Summary: On Vaughn and Lauren's first wedding anniversary, Sydney calls Vaughn upset and he rushes to be by her side.  
  
Note: This is just a little something I came up with that I'd like to see on the show sometime. I think it'd be interesting. Hope you enjoy it and please let me know what you thought! :) ~Steph  
  
* * * Under the Stars: Part 1/1 * * *  
  
"Oh and remember how my Uncle Fred got drunk and vomited all over my maid of honor?" Lauren asked with a laugh.  
  
Vaughn smiled, "How could I forget?"  
  
Lauren took a sip of her wine, as she eyed her husband over the glass. She placed it back down and leaned forward a bit. "I can't believe it's been a year already."  
  
Vaughn nodded, as he thought about all that had happened during that year. "Neither can I."  
  
Lauren's hand slithered across the table towards his, but just as she was about to make contact, his cell phone rang. Vaughn pulled his hand out of reach and took his phone out of his jacket.  
  
"Vaughn," he greeted the caller.  
  
"Hi, it's me," Sydney replied, as she fought to control the emotion in her voice.  
  
He knew something was wrong right way. He always could tell.  
  
He looked at Lauren, who was once again eyeing him over her drink. He removed the phone from his ear, placed his hand over it and leaned towards her.  
  
"Sorry, I've got to take this."  
  
Lauren nodded, her gaze following him as he slipped out of his seat and walked towards the coatroom. He went inside and brought the phone back to his ear.  
  
"Sydney, what's wrong?"  
  
"I'm sorry. I...I shouldn't have called. Just forget-..."  
  
"Where are you?" he asked, cutting her off.  
  
"The pier," she replied in a soft voice.  
  
"I'll be right there," he said, his tone offering no room for discussion. He hung up before she had a chance to object.  
  
Vaughn walked back to the table, stopping at his wife's seat.  
  
He shook his head. "I'm sorry, Lauren. I've got to go. Work," he lied.  
  
Lauren smiled sadly, as she tried to mask her disappointment, "Of course it's work. What else? Just be glad you married someone who knows all about work controlling one's life."  
  
Vaughn forced a smile, "I am." He then leaned down and quickly kissed her lips. "Happy anniversary," he said, as he pulled back.  
  
He then turned on his heel and made his way to the exit.  
  
"Happy anniversary," she whispered to his retreating figure.  
  
* * * *  
  
Vaughn spotted her shadowy form leaning against the railing, looking out at the water. He approached her, taking his place by her side.  
  
"Hi," he said, glancing at her and then moving his eyes to the water.  
  
"Hi," she replied softly.  
  
He looked at her out of the corner of his eye, noting her tearstained cheeks and the redness rimming her eyes. He wanted to know what was wrong, but sensed he shouldn't push.  
  
"Remember the first time we came here?" he asked.  
  
"I called you that time, too. It was right after my father stood me up and my friend died thinking he was working for the CIA."  
  
He nodded, his lips curling into a slight smile, "Yeah, and you threw your pager in the Pacific."  
  
Sydney laughed, as she wiped at a tear on her cheek. The laugh subsided abruptly and she looked over at him, "I shouldn't have called you. You're not my handler anymore. It's no longer your job to make sure I don't crumble into a million pieces."  
  
Vaughn met her eyes, his voice emerging more softly than he intended. "It was never my job, Sydney." He moved his eyes to the railing. "Do you remember what I told you that night?"  
  
She'd always remember, but remained silent.  
  
He went on, never meeting her eyes, "I told you that you've got my number. That was a promise to always be there for you, Sydney. That'll never change. You know that, right?"  
  
She nodded, taking a deep breath and moving her eyes to his face. "Today would have been Danny's birthday. I was just sitting in my apartment thinking about him and looking at old pictures of us. I tried to imagine what my life would be like right now if I had never told him. I kept trying to imagine us married with kids, but nothing ever came. And then I realized that I'd never been able to imagine it."  
  
Vaughn swallowed hard. It wasn't what he expected her to say. And, truth be told, it was still a little hard for him to hear her speak of having a future with anyone but him. He had no right to feel that way; he'd moved on. But he couldn't help it.  
  
She went on, "As much as I loved him, I could never see our future together. And now I realize it's because what we had wasn't real. It was based on lies. My lies. He deserved so much better. He didn't deserve to die because of me."  
  
"It wasn't your fault, Sydney," he said, offering her what he knew to be nothing but empty words.  
  
"Yes, it was," she replied softly. "And now Francie's dead because of me. Will's life has been destroyed. All they ever did was love me. That was it. I made the choice to join SD-6. I made the choice to endanger all of their lives without them even knowing it. It was my choice and I'm the only one left standing."  
  
Vaughn shook his head and spoke softly, "You act as if you haven't suffered...As if you haven't paid terrible prices for that choice. You lost two years of your life, Sydney."  
  
She nodded, "I know. But even in supposed death I caused destruction. My father ended up in jail and you..." She paused and swallowed hard, "I almost killed you, too."  
  
Vaughn's eyes widened and he shook his head, "No, Sydney, no. I made my own choices after I thought you died. Admittedly, they weren't the best ones, but they were mine. Drinking was my way to numb the pain for a long time, but I came out of it. You can't blame yourself for that."  
  
Sydney looked out at the water, a faraway look now in her eyes. "My parents used to take me here when I was a little girl. It was so peaceful. We would come at night and just watch the waves. I'd look up at the sky and try to count the stars. I remember my father, always Mr. Logical, telling me that the sky was infinite and that no matter how hard I tried, I'd never be able to count all the stars. My mother would just shake her head at him and take my hand in hers and we'd count together. She'd say 'Don't listen to Daddy Killjoy. You can do anything you want.'"  
  
Vaughn's gaze had been focused on her face and he couldn't bring himself to look away. She smiled sadly and shook her head, "I guess I grew up with this naive idea in my head that I really could do anything I wanted. I believed her when she said that. It was one of the reasons I joined SD-6. I figured I could do so much good, help so many people. I never stopped to think about all of the people I'd hurt." She stopped and squeezed her eyes shut, "As long as I have this job, people I love are going to get hurt. It's never going to end. I don't know how much longer I can live with that."  
  
Vaughn looked away now. "The first time we came here you were falling apart. And I told you that you can't let this world darken you. Nothing's changed, Sydney. Yes, there are risks. Yes, the people you love are put in harm's way. But what you do, what you've done, is worth the risk. You have to remember that." He paused and took a deep breath, his eyes now rooted to the water lapping against the pier. "I've never told you this and I probably shouldn't be telling you it now, but...I realized I was falling in love with you that night on the pier."  
  
Sydney's eyes widened and she looked over at him. He went on, "I saw the real you for the first time. This woman who had been through hell, but was still stronger than anyone I knew. To see that you had doubts, that you were scared, but still overcame it all, made me realize how amazing you really are. A part of me knew I would fall in love with you the moment I looked down at that watch and saw that it had stopped. But I hadn't realized that it was already happening until I saw you strong and vulnerable, all at the same time."  
  
Sydney reached over and placed her hand over his, just as she had done all of those years ago. He met her eyes, the love and passion still there, but caged by commitment.  
  
They were silent for a few moments, hands still in contact, until she spoke.  
  
"You're in a suit, yet you're not wearing a tie. You weren't at work, but you must have been out somewhere nice." She paused, "I'm sorry for interrupting your evening. I shouldn't have called."  
  
"Don't worry about it, Sydney. I never want you to be afraid to call me."  
  
"What were you doing?"  
  
"It doesn't matter."  
  
"It does to me," she replied.  
  
He slipped his hand out from beneath hers and wiped at his brow, "I was at dinner. With Lauren."  
  
"And she didn't mind you leaving to come see me?" she asked, truly curious.  
  
Vaughn averted his eyes. "I didn't tell her. I told her I had to go to work."  
  
Sydney's brow furrowed, "Why?"  
  
"Does it really matter?" he asked, his voice bordering on annoyed.  
  
Sydney spoke softly, "I don't know, does it?"  
  
He swallowed hard and reluctantly met her eyes, "Today was our first anniversary. When you called, I knew something was wrong and all I could think about was getting to you. I knew you needed me. Lauren wouldn't understand that. I wouldn't expect her to, especially on our anniversary."  
  
Sydney shook her head, "I'm so sorry."  
  
"You didn't ask me to come, Sydney."  
  
"But-..."  
  
"I came because I wanted to."  
  
"What about Lauren?"  
  
"What about her?"  
  
"Are you going to tell her the truth when you get home?"  
  
"Nothing's changed. She won't understand. I disappointed her tonight. I don't need to add to it by letting her know I chose you over her on our anniversary."  
  
"That's not what you did."  
  
"That's how she'll see it."  
  
"So, that's it? You're just going to keep the lie going. You're not going to tell her the truth. You're going to let there be something like that between you?"  
  
His voice softened, "Lauren and I aren't like you and I were, Sydney. There's already a lot between us."  
  
Sydney nodded, choosing to respect his decision, "Okay, it's your choice."  
  
He dropped his head, "Well, I better get going. Lauren's probably waiting for me at home by now."  
  
"Yeah," she said in a voice just above a whisper.  
  
"Bye, Sydney," he said, their eyes locking and holding.  
  
"Good-bye."  
  
With that, he turned on his heel, Sydney's eyes following his figure.  
  
"Vaughn?" she called when he was ten or so yards away.  
  
"Yeah?" he asked as he spun around to face her.  
  
"Thank you."  
  
He smiled, but the shadows obscured his features. "What are guardian angels for?"  
  
A grin overtook her face, as he continued on his way.  
  
* * * *  
  
Lauren approached Weiss's desk, a paper bag firmly in her grip.  
  
"Eric, do you know where Michael is?"  
  
Weiss swung around in his seat and looked up at her. "Michael? Your husband, Michael?"  
  
She resisted the urge to roll her eyes at the question. "Yes."  
  
"Isn't he with you? It's your anniversary today, right? He asked for tonight off weeks ago."  
  
"Yes, he was with me. We were at dinner. But he got a call and said he had to go into work. I figured I'd surprise him with dessert."  
  
"Dessert?" he asked, eyeing the bag.  
  
"You're sure he's not here?"  
  
"Yup. No one called him. Nothing going on here that can't wait for him until tomorrow."  
  
Lauren's brow furrowed in confusion, as suspicion took up root in her eyes.  
  
"Okay, thank you. I'll see you tomorrow."  
  
"Yeah, sure. Hey, are you going to eat those desserts? Because I haven't had anything but a Twinkie since noon. By the way, that thing about Twinkies never getting old? Myth."  
  
"Um..."  
  
"What kind is it?"  
  
"Tiramisu."  
  
"I'll take it. I was hoping for something chocolatey, but I'm not picky."  
  
Lauren shrugged and handed him the bag, "Sure, go ahead and have it." She then added under breath, "Someone might as well enjoy it."  
  
"Thanks," he replied, his voice muffled by the bag his face was already peering into.  
  
"You're welcome," she replied as she walked away, her mind racing with unpleasant scenarios.  
  
* * * *  
  
Vaughn heard the click of the front door and got up from the living room couch. He entered the foyer, spotting Lauren.  
  
"You're just getting back now? I thought for sure you'd beat me home."  
  
Her eyes studied him for a moment. "So did I. I guess whatever they needed you for at work wasn't too serious."  
  
Vaughn moved his eyes to the floor, "Nah, Weiss was just making a bigger deal out of it than it was."  
  
"Hmm."  
  
He lifted his eyes and looked at her, sensing something was wrong. "Are you okay? I'm really am sorry I had to leave."  
  
"Are you?" she asked sharply.  
  
His brow wrinkled. "Of course. What is that supposed to mean?"  
  
"Where did you really go?"  
  
His eyes widened in surprise, "What are you talking about?"  
  
"Actually, I guess the more appropriate question would be 'who did you really go see?'"  
  
Vaughn licked his lips and dropped his head, realizing there was no way out of this now. "How did you know?"  
  
"How did I know?" she asked in an eerily calm tone, as she came to stand in front of him. "I went to see my husband at work and surprise him with dessert on our first anniversary. That how I knew."  
  
Vaughn rubbed his hand across his forehead, "I can explain, Lauren."  
  
"I can hardly wait," she replied sharply, as she crossed her arms over her chest.  
  
He couldn't bring himself to meet her eyes as he spoke. "Sydney was the one who called me. She sounded awful. I knew something was wrong, so I told her I'd come see her."  
  
Lauren's jaw tightened, but she didn't seem surprised by his answer. "She didn't ask you to come."  
  
"No."  
  
"You volunteered."  
  
"Yes."  
  
She stared at him for a long moment, causing him to grow increasingly uncomfortable.  
  
He finally broke the silence, "I understand if you're angry."  
  
"I'm not angry."  
  
"You're not?" he said in tone that was a mixture of surprise and confusion.  
  
"No."  
  
"Well, I'm still really sorry-..."  
  
"I'm hurt," she replied softly. "I'm hurt...Not because you went to be with a woman you once loved on our anniversary, but because you didn't tell me."  
  
Vaughn hesitantly met her eyes, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I didn't think you'd understand. You don't know the kind of relationship Sydney and I had. I was her friend, I still am. I was the only person she could really talk to for a long time and well before we became anything more. I just...didn't think you'd understand."  
  
Lauren shook her head, "You didn't give me a chance, Michael. I'm not saying I would have been thrilled, but you didn't give me the option of having a reaction at all."  
  
Vaughn nodded, "I don't know what else to say but I'm sorry."  
  
"How about: I trust you enough to tell you the truth and let you deal with it however you may?" she asked.  
  
"You're right, I should have told you the truth."  
  
"I'm doing the best I can with all of this, Michael. I have been for many months now, ever since Sydney came back. But we are not going to make it if you keep secrets from me."  
  
Vaughn bobbed his head and spoke softly, "I know."  
  
Lauren took a deep breath and then let it out. "I'm going to bed. Happy anniversary."  
  
He remained silent, as he watched her climb the stairs to the second floor. When she'd disappeared from sight, he ran a hand across his mouth and sighed. Then he walked to the kitchen, opened the refrigerator and pulled out a can of beer. He walked to the glass doors that led to the deck and let himself outside. He took a seat on one of the steps leading to the yard and opened the can of beer.  
  
Vaughn shook his head, as he rubbed his eyes and looked up at the dark sky dotted with stars. He smiled, remembering Sydney's story. He started counting the stars.  
  
Sometimes the only thing that kept him going was knowing that she was alive and well, sleeping under the very same stars.  
  
And sometimes knowing that she was alive and well, sleeping under the very same stars, rather than next to him, made him want to give up all together.  
  
********************************THE END******************************* Thanks for reading! Hope you enjoyed it and please let me know what you thought. :) ~Steph 


End file.
